Questions That Can Change Your Life - Every Time You Ask Them

Posted on June 19, 2008 
Filed Under Self Improvement

“Some men see things as they are, and say, ‘Why?’ I dream of things that never were, and say, ‘Why not?’” - George Bernard Shaw

Have you ever noticed that when you think, you are constantly asking yourself questions? Did I make the right decision? Am I doing this right? Is this the best move for me right now? What other options do I have? Should I stay or should I go?

Questions are a big part of the way we interact in the world. We ask questions of people all day long and we consciously and unconsciously ask them of ourselves. If you do any type of coaching or consulting with clients you know that the right question at the right time can have a profound impact on people. Therefore, doesn’t it make sense that if we want to change the quality of our thoughts and therefore our lives, we need to change what questions we ask?

Questions are the primary way that we learn virtually anything. If you have spent any time around kids you know this to be true. They ask questions about everything as a way to make new connections and assimilate new information. As a former teacher asking questions was a far more effective way of teaching than simply delivering information. Instead of just telling a student that Lincoln agonized over signing the Emancipation Proclamation I asked, “Why do you think Lincoln agonized over it?”. By asking the question I am asking that they engage more of their minds. It requires more to question than it does to simply take in and store information.

My entire business is based on a question I have been asking and studying for 15 years. Why do people do what they do and not do what they know they ought to do? Observation alone is not enough for me to begin to understand why. I need to ask this question over and over and then couple it with “What can I do to help people do what they ought to do and deep down want to do? and “What solutions can I provide to my clients who know what to do but don’t do it?”

Think about some of the successful people you know. What questions do they ask? I am certain that a contributing factor to every person or company’s success is their ability to ask questions nobody else did. Take Henry Ford for example. Hundreds of people played at the idea of building automobiles but he asked “How can I mass produce it?”. What about John F. Kennedy? He made the entire country stop and think with his question, “ask not what my country can do for me but what I can do for my county”.

So, the real difference between people, what makes some really successful and others not, is the difference in the questions they ask consistently.

Let’s take someone who is depressed for example. What kinds of questions do you think go on in their heads? Perhaps they ask questions like, ‘why me?’, ‘what’s the use?’, or ‘why doesn’t anything ever work out?’. Since we get what we focus on the most these questions ensure we will get more of it. And, what kind of answers do you think these questions produce? Probably things like “because you are no good” or “because you deserve it”.

What if however, these people learned how to ask better questions such as “how can I get back to doing what brings me joy?” or “what can I do to improve my situation”? Do you see how just reading those questions created a surge in energy for you?

It is a truth that every misfortune is in fact not a misfortune at all but merely an opportunity. Many people fail to recognize this however and when something happens that they didn’t want to happen or hadn’t planned to happen they immediately focus on how horrible it is. That line of thinking is actually the real misfortune. When something appears as a hardship it is really just a sign to you that something needs to change, you need to go in a new direction or make a different decision. So what if the next time you were faced with something difficult you said “how can I use this?’ or “what am I capable of now?”. Can you see how asking those questions will take you out of that negative feeling more quickly than simply saying to yourself “this is horrible” or “this is the worst thing that ever happened to me”?

If we relate this to your relationship with money you can think about the questions you habitually ask yourself about your financial situation. If you want to change your finances you have to change your relationship with money. The questions you ask about money therefore will determine where you focus, how you feel, how you think and what you do when it comes to your money.

Tony Robbins said that “Questions are undeniably a magic tool that allows the genie in our minds to meet our wishes; they are the wake-up call to our giant capacities. They allow us to achieve our desires if only we present them in the form of a specific and well-thought out request.”

What power could you have just by asking different questions?

Before I end though I do want to make one point clear and that is if you want to make the questions that you’re asking useful you have to act on them consistently. Taking in new information is great but it means nothing without action. The same is true for questioning. Don’t get so caught up in asking a million questions and evaluating everything that you fail to act. Question, evaluate, act. Question, evaluate act.

Success coach Melani Ward helps women entrepreneurs create the business of their dreams so they can create more money, time and freedom in their lives. If you’re ready to get more clients, have more fun and make a whole lot more money in your small business, get your FREE report “Proven Steps for Creating the Business Lifestyle of Your Dreams” NOW at http://www.HotButtonCopy.com

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